i find myself breaking things far too often. maybe i’ve broken a lot more than i wanted to.

i’m a software engineer gone cyber security geek. i love to pentest, code, and break things… not in that order. i also game from time to time. stick around, you may like my content.

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a developer gone cyber security geek

The Geek Bin

Finding balance in chaos.

If you can’t already tell, I’m a fairly active person with a long day, by choice. I’ve often described my life as balanced, but from time to time it’s thrown into chaos. It may be as simple as an unexpected event, or dreading finding out news that may be good or bad.

I’ve got some factors working against me, like my OCD. I need to find some sort of balance in my life in order to feel calm and rested. I can’t do that when I’m anxiously awaiting news that may not be good news.

For the last 4 days I’ve hardly slept, I’ve felt restless, and I’ve been exhausted beyond belief. Today I find out the news my wife and I are waiting for, and despite what we are hoping for, it’s possible it’s completely different than what we expect.

In my life, I’ve never felt this anxious aside two other times – the time my son was born, and the day I moved. I’m not a religious person, but this week I’ve felt the need to pray for good news. In its own way, its helped me begin to find balance in the chaos.

I’m hopeful I’ll have a positive update to post here this week, so here’s my praying for the best. Only time will be able yo tell.

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